daddy sadness

there's nothing like my Christ.

i stood up and shared today (: i was simply.. overflowing! haha. it's like.
"dang! i've kept it all for too long.. i just need to FREE my Christ!"
i thank Him that finally i have a chance to overflow my enjoyments of Christ.
well, even when it meant i had to ditch my korean class =P sigh*
it has been 2 weeks alreadyy. lord, isn't it a waste of $? ):
i missed last week's cos of florida trip.
i missed today's cos of the welcome back meeting.

lord!
어 트 게?!!
( o-te-ke ) : how!

i felt better though, after releasing Christ (:
hehe. even though today my feelings were made "down" by my father.
apparently he just found out that i'm going to canada on a SCHOOL WEEKEND,
and he was pissed. literally, mad.
O Lord. I do not have peace to go anymore, but after all that hassles: plane tickets, visas, etc..
i really do not want to forfeit it all~!

I was totally convicted, like, really. That pang of guilt not only stayed in my tiny little conscience; but it occupied my mind. I feel so inadequate as a daughter, I don't know why.
The words that came out of my father's mouth today totally convicted me.
He said, "Loe bener bener boros." (you're really spendthrift)

#1 he thought i would at least go there for a week; and he got the SHOCK of his life that it's only a weekend trip.

#2 school started. "cindy. what are you thinking!"

sigh. i have nothing to say, but, forgive me lord, and i will repay him with good grades this quarter.
i really want to pick up a part time job, but, i'm afraid it might affect my studies this 1/4.. and i really don't wanna risk it. ah~!
and my ambitious/demanding inner being just would not let me go!

#1 i'm going to pick up my piano skills.
#2 i'm going to continue with my korean class.
#3 i'm going to take a dance class.
#4 i'm going to attend UCLA's spring singing contest ("UCLA idol")
#5 spring fun- magic mountain/six flags
#6 spring fun- las vegas
#7 college conference
#8 summer training


='(

am i really too much?